Capture Your Grief: Day 3 - Before

I suffered two early miscarriages prior to Gage's death.  I was extremely sad after each loss but can't compare those feelings with the emotions I felt and still feel everyday after losing Gage.  I feel like a part of me died the day I woke to find my 3 day old son lifeless. 

Before Gage I had my whole life planned out.  I always wanted to be married at a young age, finish college, and have multiple children. I was married at 18 and graduated from Nursing School 8 months pregnant with my first child.  I was happy and full of life. I truly thought that my life would play out exactly as I had planned.  I enjoyed my career as a nurse. I enjoyed my growing family. I looked forward to things.....time with family/friends, vacations, hobbies. I never thought I would lose a child, especially to SIDS.

I became a different person the day Gage died. There are parts of that person I wish I could get back.  I would never go back to that life.  Although Gage only lived 3 short days he made an impact that will last in our lives forever.  I can't imagine my life without him. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyourheart

Capture Your Grief is a mindful healing project for anyone who is grieving the death of a baby or child of any age or gestation. If you are not grieving the death of a child but a loved one and would like to raise awareness for the bereaved parents community, we welcome you to take part as well to help us spread the word about our community. For more information visit CarlyMarie Project Heal at  http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2014/09/capture-your-grief-2014.html

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Guest Post: Guy

Today we are lucky enough to have Guy with us Guest Posting from The Baby Butterfly Foundation - he is an amazing person who was willing to share with us all his story. Please take a moment to read his post, visit their site,  and feel free to leave comments in response on our Facebook page. 

Breathe In…Breathe Out…

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

As my world was collapsing all around me, I almost forgot how to do that.  As my baby girl was receiving her angel wings two rooms away in the ER, breathing became so difficult and foreign.  I couldn't find the air.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

Two years and six months seems an eternity ago.  It's strange, but this loss is such a contradiction in time.  To think of all the kisses and hugs...the smells...the laughter and the crying...they are almost a distant memory that I struggle to hold on to.  Yet, thinking of the call...the tears...the agony...the shattering of my heart into a million million pieces...that happened just yesterday, didn't it?

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

How have we made it this far?  How did we start The Baby Butterfly Foundation for SIDS Outreach in Mia's honor?  How is it that I can share our story with so many families in the loss community?  How do I find the strength and remember to breathe?  In Him.

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.  For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with His comfort through Christ.  Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation.  For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you.  Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.  We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives."
- 2 Corinthians  1:4-7

When I was asked to write a piece for God's Angels Gone Early, I didn't think twice or hesitate.  Of course I accepted the offer.  That's one of the ways I share my suffering...so that I may find some comfort.  And that I, in turn, may comfort someone else in their suffering. 

I'm not going to recount the story of the day Mia died.  If you'd like to read about it, please, by all means.  You can find it on my blog, holyghostbumps.com.  And I pray that it strengthens you.  What I am going to do, however, is try to give you hope.  If you're new to the child loss fraternity/sorority, hang on.  It doesn't necessarily get easier.  It just gets more bearable.  You remember to breathe in and breathe out...to put one foot in front of the other to string along a walk.  I haven't found the ability to run in happiness and peace again just yet.  But I'm confident that one day I will.  My faith in Christ assures me of that.

If you've been on this grief-journey for awhile, you probably have more tricks of the trade to get you by.  And what could I, a relative newcomer, have to offer?  How about a kind word and a prayer?  If your faith has been shaken by your loss, as my wife's was, I would encourage you to hang on as well.  Our Spring is coming. 

I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that He knows where you are when you find yourself in the dark.  As I’ve told my wife so many times during those first months, call on His name.  When you can say nothing else, call on the name of Jesus.  It took a couple years, but she's not mad at Him anymore.  She has found her faith again.  Make no mistake, everything's not honky-dory.  But He's working on it.

The bottom line is this...it's hard.  It's an extremely difficult thing to bear losing your baby.  But you're not alone.  Never alone.  You have others who are experiencing the same thing.  You have family and friends (though they often say the wrong things, bless their hearts).  And you ALWAYS have Christ.

I realize that you may not believe in Him anymore, or you may never have experienced what it's like to have a personal and intimate relationship with Christ.  But I make no apologies for my faith.  It's what has carried me through all the darkness and pain.  It's what enables me to lead my wife and children.  It's what allows me to relive that fateful day each and every time I reach out to another family that loses a child to SIDS.  It's what will enable me to see Mia again.  And what a glorious day that will be!

Until then, I'll keep breathing in.  And breathing out.

The Baby Butterfly Foundation Website:

http://www.bbfsids.org

The Baby Butterfly Foundation on Facebook:

 https://www.facebook.com/TheBabyButterflyFoundation

If you would like to guest post with us this month it isn't too late, please send us a message via our Contact Us page.

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Happy Mother's Day

I find that holidays aren't as enjoyable after suffering such great loss. I know that it's even harder to enjoy days like today if you lost your only child/children. I saw this picture on a friend's page and I think it is perfect.....

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Thank you Sewing For Babies

We would like to extend a big THANK YOU to Sewing For Babies, another amazing organization, who donated over 2,400 hats, 260 sweet heart ornaments, and 100 gowns (all handmade) to our organization. We really cannot express our gratitude! The donation filled bags and bags - the items donated are beautiful and are going to help us make a lot of kits for those families in need.

This organization hand makes different items and donates them to local hospitals as well - they also were kind enough to give me some things after our angel, Gage, passed away. I was grateful to them and their kindness!

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Donations!

We have had several donations over the past few weeks and I couldn't be more excited! It is because of these wonderful people and their gifts that I am able to continue making and donating kits to local facilities. 

A big thank you to my good friend Jenna Applebee for donating journals and outfits, I appreciate your continued support more than you know!

Another big thank you to Becky & Matthew Bandeen and Echo Christian Fellowship for donating all of these clothes. This is one of the hardest items to get donated, thanks for thinking of us!

The most recent donation we received was from the Mother's of Preschoolers (MOPS) group in Goodyear. We were blessed with 14+ complete kits. My goal is to stock a new hospital with all of these donations. Thank you Charissa Stromski and the entire MOPS group for all of your time and effort, the items donated are absolutely adorable.

 Thank you again to everyone who has donated their time, items and/or money. It is because of your help that I am able to keep this organization going.  GAGE holds a special place in my heart and I'm honored that you are so willing to help me help others. I will forever be grateful to each and everyone of you.

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Happy Birthday Gage!

This post is a little late! We celebrated Gage's second birthday last month.  I can't believe that two years have already passed.  This time of year is difficult for me.  I'm grateful for this organization and the fact that we are able to help others.  It never gets easier wondering what he would look like or what his personality would be like.  I can't wait for the day till we meet again! I have been busy putting together kits and have a set ready to be donated to Good Samaritan Hospital today.  I can't think of a better way to keep Gage's memory alive.  I can't say thank you enough to all of those people and organizations who have and continue to donate to GAGE.

The boys sent balloons to Gage

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She Does Justice

We are so grateful to announce that we are now an Affiliate with She Does Justice. If you haven't heard of She Does Justice before, please take a moment to visit her website and learn more. She Does Justice is run by Megan, who initially started the website as a way to fundraise money for their own adoption... she has since turned the website into a way to help other organizations and people help others. The best way to describe what she does can be found on her website in their mission:

"She Does Justice is an advocate for those who need one. It is a space where organizations who are working for the good of others are recognized. It is a community of people who want to show love to the 'least of these'. A place where we strive to show those in need that they are known and loved.

We have made it our mission to support organizations who are working to reach those in need, near and far. It doesn't matter how big or small the organization, if we believe in its mission then we want to help support it."

She Does Justice is truly an amazing site whose main goal is to give back. We are so happy to be an affiliate and to help her do just that. 

So what does being an affiliate mean? It means that a percentage of every purchase that is made in the She Does Justice Shop through our referral link will go directly to God's Angels Gone Early each month and towards helping those families who have lost their little ones too soon. The shop has cute & trendy homemade items that anyone would love!

Take a moment to visit her shop and look at her products. Remember every purchase you make through our link, which you can find by clicking the She Does Justice logo above or by clicking HERE, will help support She Does Justice AND God's Angels Gone Early.

Her shop is filled with tons of items that would be perfect gifts for the upcoming holiday and not only are you buying an amazing product but you're supporting amazing organizations at the same time. So take a moment to visit her shop and share this link with your family and friends!!

Our referral link:

http://www.shedoesjusticeshop.com/?ref=heidirheinhardt

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